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  • kid: dad whats a 69
  • dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]
Source: harrygiggle
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lukasuka:

AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LAUGHING AT THE DOG OR THE BALD GUY

(via unsmokable)

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nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

(via pizza)

Source: nickelbackthatassup
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muggleland:

i love the sense of community in the classroom when you all know you failed the test

(via i-gave-you-all-that-i-had)

Source: muggleland
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me: ok i’ll study at 8:00

clock: 8:00

me: *pretends i didn’t see*

(via happiest)